i say “omg” too much omg omg look i did it again omg
sfux: i feel like people who eat breakfast really have their lives together
lonelywhiteasian: why reach for the stars when you can reach for my dick
thecompanionsdoctor: My week is basically: Monday Monday #2 Monday #3 Monday #4 Friday Saturday Pre-Monday
Me on my wedding day: is there wifi in this hall
cybergay: cloudy with a chance of me not getting laid this summer
deplaisant: How I think I look when I walk in public How I actually look when I walk in public
k-dawgggg: for-jay-ever: johnkmai: vivian-trinh: bryanv: dopeturtlem: ohdvmnicole: Oh my fuck LOLOLOL LOL this shit got me on the floor laughing in the library ! LOL BEST. OMFG LOL “T-MOE-THEE.” “Preeesnt” LOL IM SO DONE Is there an A-A-ron?! dead.
Seeing an empty swing set.
sodamnrelatable: When I was 5: When I was 12: Now:
Sex is so weird like hey I love you let me stick my hard extra limb into your tiny hole and then slam it into you repeatedly because I love you
circumcising: are we gunna have sex or are you going to continue to like my posts
one-hamburger: Yeah the sun is hot, but have you ever stopped to think about its personality
Argument I heard on the bus
Guy 1: no, niggah, gay bros can raise babies. Look at that warthog motherfucker and that ferret thing that raised Simba. And that niggah became king of motherfucking Africa.
tristnpls: jasminrain: What am I supposed to do? Text him saying “hey, I’m horny, lets fuck?” like no, that’s too suspicious. I wud be like sounds like a plan
imjustonekid: do you ever keyboard smash like: galsimvaklrer and think no that doesn’t look right and so you erase it and try again laskdfjaasdf ah yes that’s how im feeling now
thefuuuucomics: when you see someone you don’t want to talk to
thewonderyearstrong: do you ever just realise that one of your friends male or female is like, really hot? but not in a ‘damn i’d tap that’ kinda way but in a ‘i made friends with someone who’s really attractive, nice’